Wednesday, January 12, 2011

No Work Today!

So I don't have work today... I can't decide whether I'm happy or not about that. On one hand, I have the day off, on the other, I'm not getting hours...

In other news, my grandma punched my mom in the face yesterday. Needless to say, it was an interesting night. They were fighting over who lost the instruction manual to the oven.

Erin and I got really messed up the other night at her place. At one point she was completely orgasming over this bag of Limon Lays I brought with me. Also, we had this ornate glass bowl full of chocolates sitting on the bed. One second it was there, the next second it wasn't. The next day we LITERALLY looked in every corner of the house for it, but it was completely gone. Things have a habit of disappearing around me.

Back when I first started my job, a box just randomly disappeared when I had my back turned for a split second. It really scared my boss. We looked everywhere and said that the entire time that she had worked there, that nothing like that had ever happened. The box was never found either. I still wonder what happened to it. I think the things that go missing around me fall into small space time vortexes that pop into existence at random intervals. The laws of physics dictate that the bowl and the box exist SOMEWHERE, but I seriously doubt it's anywhere in this galaxy. Or it could have just done what Erin's old phone did, and just phase INTO a nearby object. The box could be in the ground, and the bowl in the mattress.

Fun Fact: A Cross the Universe by Justice, is the best live album I've ever heard.

-Meh

Monday, January 10, 2011

Been Gone for a Month

Been gone for a month, working and slacking off and such.

The jobs going pretty well, I still have it by the way. It's gotten more interesting to be honest. The first day SUCKED, so bad I cannot even put into words. I was absolutely miserable. But after that, I slowly started getting the hang of it.

Basically, my job is to slice open boxes, and sort them (and the shit inside them) as fast as possible, while keeping track of how many boxes I've opened. At first, I couldn't remember more than 20 before losing count. Now I can easily get to 300 or so without losing count. I still make a tally every 100 or so, just in case. But I haven't needed it yet. I also have to put lamps together, sort luggage, put a numerical code on friggin' everything, work with shoes and bags, and do all of it at the same time without making any mistakes. So basically, I specialize in doing everything, while everyone else specializes in doing one thing.

It's not as easy as it sounds though, my boss is a crazy fast worker, so I have to work hard to keep up with her. But most of the time I do it, so in that respect I'm doing good. I know, sounds boring. But believe it or not, the day normally goes by pretty fast. Occasionally, if I'm looking at the clock too often, the days drags on forever. I've made it a habit to not wonder what time it is, and I try not to even GLANCE at the clock.

Uhm, still getting fucked up when I can. JWH, the compound in Spice got banned, so my friends and I switched to something else. I cannot for the life of me remember what it's called, but it gets me high, so I don't really care.

Not much else going on in my life.

Oh, my great grandma told my grandpa she was going to stab him in the face with a fork last night during dinner. Someone's getting senile.

So yeah, may or may not post tomorrow. Doesn't really matter, it's not as if anyone reads this.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

A Day in the Life of the Neighborhood Faggot

Normally, I wake up in the morning and know how I'm going to spend the day. Well not today. I have absolutely nothing planned (shocking, I know). So I have nothing to write about. Well, sort of. So I'll probably just rant for a couple paragraphs and call it a post.

So my PSP battery thing that I ordered the other day got here yesterday (I think? Maybe the day before that). It worked totally fine for the first hour, but now it randomly turns itself on and off. So I reset my trusty little handheld in an attempt to solve the issue. Haven't tried using the battery again yet, because I'm afraid it'll explode for some stupid reason. And I would really prefer for my only working portable game system to NOT burst in to flames.

Apparently a video of Miley Cyrus smoking salvia found it's way on to the internet. All I have to say on that subject is GO HANNAH MONTANNA GO. Seriously, she's my new role model. Next time someone asks me who I look up to, I'm going to say Miley Cyrus. Who knew Disney's little corporate whore would actually make me proud. SMOKE IT UP BOB MILEY.

Yesterday, Cody and I were supposed to hang out, but he dipped out on me in favor of John and Michael. Of course, nobody mentioned shit to me, so I had no idea what was going on until I was already asleep (I don't hold it against them, considering I'M the one who passed out :p). Apparently Cody called me at like 9:45ish (presumably to hang out) but I didn't answer cuz I was catching some serious Z's (I have a sinus infection, let me sleep it off guys). And apparently John called me at like 11:45ish (presumably to talk about random shit for an hour). Once again, not really important, but worth mentioning I suppose. 

So I had orientation for TJMaxx yesterday (apparently they abbreviate it TJX). In my head, orientation was a group of 7 or 8 people, sitting in a small classroom type setting, watching training videos and filling out paperwork. All I have to say is it was nothing like that. AT ALL. I was supposed to be there at 1:00, but my Manager (1 of many) wasn't even ready for me until like 1:20. So I sat around for 20 minutes just wasting time (paid time might I add, so I can't really complain). While I was sitting at the front of the store, watching customers browse purses (so exciting, I know) I experienced an act of God. I was staring at this big display thingy, that was basically a 3-tier table thing, stacked with handbags, when suddenly this pink one decides to make a break for the door. It goes flying off the shelf (by itself) and lands like 10 feet away. Unfortunately, nobody else saw it, so I picked it up and set it back on the shelf, half expecting it to swan-dive off again. It didn't.

Anyway, so finally my manager comes and gets me, and I go back to his office and fill out a shitton of paperwork (employment forms, tax forms, form forms, the usual signing-your-life-away stuff). And after that, he walked me around the store. And by "walked me around the store", I mean he took me into a creepy janitor's closet and locked the door behind us. Needless to say, I was more than a bit uncomfortable about this. Closed spaces + creepy manager + nobody to hear me scream + cleaning chemicals = Me having a mini seizure in a supply closet. But seriously though, he just showed me where the "Big Book of Cleaning Supplies Information" was. And then he made me sign a waiver saying that he showed me where it was so that I couldn't claim he didn't later. 

Then he took me to the break room, plopped me down in a chair, and set out 10 brainwashing videos for me to watch. Then he left. I seriously sat in there for like 3 hours, texting people and half-watching the training videos (only one of which actually told me ANYTHING  about what I would be doing). So yeah, I learned next-to-nothing. The funny thing is, before I even finished watching them, my manger LEFT. Just flat out clocked-out, and left. So I waited 5 minutes before doing the same. Overall, I'd say it was a VERY productive day. Didn't even get my schedule. All I know is that I'm supposed to be in for work at 7 on Monday. I can tell I'm going to like this job.

So yeah, that's what's up in my life right now. Pretty boring huh? 
-Meh

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Got a Job

Yesterday I had an interview for a position at TJMaxx which they call "the cutter". Basically what I'll be doing is opening boxes and moving shit around and getting things organized as fast as I can. They called me back today and told me I could have the job if I wanted it (which I said yes to). So I have orientation tomorrow at 1 in the afternoon.

The irony, my inner gay is stressing out over what I should wear. Normally, I don't really care, but I want to make at least a DECENT first (ok, maybe second) impression. And since basically the only things in my closet are jeans and plain t-shirts, I'm virtually decided on what I'm going to wear. I mean, I have these two nice button up shirts, one that's black, and one that has these vertical blue and white stripes; so I'll probably wear one of those. But since I only have those two, and I can't wear jeans to work, I seriously need to go pants shopping.

Also, I have this weird feeling about the job. Call it paranoia, or whatever you wish, but I have this unsettling feeling that everyone who works at this particular store is a satanist. I know it's completely moronic to think such a thing, but my spider senses are tingling all over the place about this (gay senses, whatever you want to call it). Or maybe they're part of some cult, or they're all cannibals. the managers seemed nice enough, but I have a bad feeling about them too. Granted, I won't have to spend TOO much time around my co-workers, since I'll only be pulling in about 12-18 hours a week (totally part-time, but you don't hear me complaining, a job is a job), but color be concerned.

Like, whenever I have a bad feeling about something, it tends to come true. And while it isn't a bad feeling as much... pure uncomfortableness (this could just be me, being nervous as fuck), I'm still worried. I'm a worry-wart, I can't help it.

Oh, also, Cody has an interview at Olive Garden on Monday. I think it'd be pretty awesome if all of my friends could get jobs. Like, it'd just be nice. My mom had an interview today at Dish Network, and if she gets the job, she'll be pulling in about 1600$ a month (which means we won't have to live with my bitchy grandparents anymore). So thing's are looking up.

KC and I talked a bit today. Apparently she put in her two weeks notice at Dollar Tree, so her position (cashier, I think) is up for grabs. I told Cody and John to get off their asses and go apply, but I think they both will have forgotten by tomorrow. I'm seriously going to get on their asses about this. If I could get a job, so can they... Even if they have to lower their standards a bit. I'm doing a frickin' minimum wage (that's 7.25 in Arizona bitches) manual labor job for god's sake.

So yeah, that's what's up today.
-Meh

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I'm sitting here, at Monty's house, slowly losing my fucking mind. I can't sleep. I've been trying for basically the past 2 hours. I just toss and turn. My eyes are literally completely wide open. I can barely blink, and I can feel my heart beating. I'm not even on anything, I think I might be having an anxiety attack, but I dunno.